Life isn’t about the potential, it’s about the reality. Whatever is happening is happening and you gotta understand that not only are you present, but you are balls deep in actual, visceral space. Reach out, keep moving. Life won’t stop for more favorable circumstances. It will reach back and hand you what you need to make it through. Who you are will be shaped by the movement of time and space, not shaped by what you want to be. We can’t control everything, just how we respond, how we grow, and how much of the change within us we are wise enough to recognize. 😘
I firmly believe that we have everything we need to know or know everything we need to know to make sound decisions. It’s discerning between fear and making a risky choice that will yield a great reward that makes everything so challenging. “If I jump will I fall irrevocably?” Vs. “I’m not going to try this” is not the same thing. And that’s what’s making my life so damn hard right now.
I spend time, too much time, wishing I was somewhere else. Stop it, Kelle. I am who and where I am and there’s no one else like me. 😘
So…I went back and read previous posts and realized I started sounding like an old spinster, droning on about how lonely she is all the time, but a friend said to me recently something I’m not likely to soon forget and never knew about myself. She’d recently broken up with someone and said she’d needed to learn how to be alone, but that I apparently mastered the art of it and am perfectly content to be. Then I thought about it. Yeah…pretty darn accurate. Nothing wrong with it, I’ve just learned to like my own company when it necessitates and I really hate going to the movies with other people. Definitely learn to appreciate your time alone, but cultivate the art of being able to sacrifice some of it for and with others as well. Just a part of life because contrary to popular belief, we don’t live life alone. It just seems that way when no one else shares your space. Now that I know that about myself, I don’t hate being alone, I just want someone to share my time with now. It has gotten old, but it’s not as bad as I thought it’d be either.
I have a photo I’ve just used as a profile pic on my Instagram. I don’t particularly like that picture but something said to me “leave it there until you love that picture.” It’s easy to like a pic where your hair, teeth, and skin look great, but quite another animal to like one where all you see are flaws. Look at those flaws until you love them. Because they are you. So basically, learn to love you.
It’s always been words. Since I read Langston Hughes’ poem “Dreams.” I saw it and I said “that’s what I want to do.” Whatever I do and wherever I go, I gotta be able to use words.
Labor day is Monday and while some would say it’s the end of summer, I can’t help but feel it’s the truth. Summer is my favorite season and having to say goodbye to it, well, made me sad. But I realized that there’s beauty and sadness in all of life’s seasons and that may be a hard lesson to learn, but it’s wisdom we can all use and a reminder that we all need. Take heart, let the time pass, and do it gracefully. With every change a new truth, a new season will emerge. Time is a gift: either learn to accept that and savor every moment or remain stagnant and live your life in the past. Never lament the past. It cannot be changed. I remembered that as I saw the leaves begin to turn and I wished summer was a little bit longer, but I have to move forward. We all must move forward.