I constantly find ways to do something else when I’m afraid to do something really big. I procrastinate or give myself reasons why I cannot move forward in this seemingly impossible task. The odds are against me, it would seem. And I become afraid. I’m never more creative than when I invent excuses not to do the things that scare me. As Amy Poehler put it: “the talking about the thing is not the doing of the thing. The doing of the thing is the doing of the thing.” So do it. Do it afraid. Invent reasons why you can and even if you’re lying to yourself, eventually you’ll believe it enough to do everything. Afraid or not.
It’s completely wonderful sometimes to lay in a field of nothing. Doing exactly that. But then the minutes pass quickly and you’re staring down the barrel of responsibility again. It passes just that quickly. I’m trying to learn to cherish the moments that I have all to myself. To cherish and appreciate because when they’re gone, they aren’t coming back.
I’ve always been driven by an overwhelming need to be as original as possible. I have absolutely no desire to duplicate anyone or anything. I suppose this is why I always bump my head against things: I’m always trying to forge my own path. I’m who I am. I’m who I was made to be. I wasn’t meant to be anyone else.