At what point do you stop and say, “ok, this is it. I’ve arrived”? It’s always “when I (fill in the blank), I can be happy.” Is it elusive or is anyone ever right when he or she says “when I’ve completed/accomplished/achieved this, I’ll be happy”? We genuinely feel like we will. We genuinely believe we will. I genuinely believe that when I’m no longer in a permanent state of uncertainty that I’ll be happy. It’s hard not to think in that way. And if I just sit down, what is it I can do or accomplish or become? Maybe it’s just me, but I believe a different plane or level or state of being has to be realized before happiness can be achieved. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ll be happy when I find out.
I’ve just discovered something: scrolling through Instagram I caught myself saying repeatedly “I love her! I love him! I love them!” Like admiring the people I follow on social media. They’re awesome. She’s awesome. He’s awesome. Then I scrolled back through my feed and although I love my pictures, my memories, my stories, I felt like the difference between those that inspire me and that which I actually do is fear. This isn’t to say they’re not afraid, they just do it anyway. My fear holds me back from saying “I love (fill in the blank) but I’ve got it pretty awesome too.”