On Learning…

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Do as much as you can, as often as you can, for as long as you can.

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On Missed Opportunities…

pexels-photo-277017.png“Our lives are shaped by opportunities…even the ones we miss.” -Benjamin Button

Never were truer words spoken. I live this truth. Almost everyday of my life…and I haven’t been trying lately. I gave up. But I’ll start again. As long as you can see that it is you who holds the keys, you’ll always be able to pick back up and move forward with the fresh hope of a new opportunity to get off of your ass and go after what you want.

On Profundity…

I read past posts and think of how articulate I seemed. I was deep and profound and interesting and wise. I’d like to go back and taste whatever air I was breathing and swallow it past my teeth and my tongue and then spit it back out in poetry and prose. I miss growing. Moving forward. Being someone. Someone who felt deeply and didn’t sneer at her need to be different. To be changed after a challenging period. I guess I just miss getting to know more about me.

On Goals

At what point do you stop and say, “ok, this is it. I’ve arrived”? It’s always “when I (fill in the blank), I can be happy.” Is it elusive or is anyone ever right when he or she says “when I’ve completed/accomplished/achieved this, I’ll be happy”? We genuinely feel like we will. We genuinely believe we will. I genuinely believe that when I’m no longer in a permanent state of uncertainty that I’ll be happy. It’s hard not to think in that way. And if I just sit down, what is it I can do or accomplish or become? Maybe it’s just me, but I believe a different plane or level or state of being has to be realized before happiness can be achieved. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’ll be happy when I find out. 

On Being Afraid…

I’ve just discovered something: scrolling through Instagram I caught myself saying repeatedly “I love her! I love him! I love them!” Like admiring the people I follow on social media. They’re awesome. She’s awesome. He’s awesome. Then I scrolled back through my feed and although I love my pictures, my memories, my stories, I felt like the difference between those that inspire me and that which I actually do is fear. This isn’t to say they’re not afraid, they just do it anyway. My fear holds me back from saying “I love (fill in the blank) but I’ve got it pretty awesome too.”